He is never the charmer on the dance floor, so it amazes me how he has managed to charm himself out of a job for so long. This blog is dedicated to a dear friend of mine, one whose name I shall not disclose but instead just call him Mac.
Now Mac is the type of guy who you would expect to need a job. He leads a sociable lifestyle within a group of employed friends who demand the finer and more fun things out of life such as alcohol fuelled nights out, weekend excursions as well as concert and cinema outings. And let me tell you Mac would be damned if he had to miss out on any of these things. Always a dapper gent, he cavorts around bars in the trendiest tresses and commandeers admiring glances from coquettish ladies (obviously before they have entered into a conversation). He’s a movie buff, an art enthusiast and a musical connoisseur. He’s also skint…so just how does Mac manage to live such an affluent lifestyle?
He certainly doesn’t receive generous handouts from mummy or daddy, apart from the collecting of early birthday and Christmas favours and the odd £20 here or there. It could be the ‘loans’ he obtains from friends which he then ‘forgets’ to reimburse! Surely though, the sporadic £10 borrows couldn’t fortify such an existence. A well guarded inheritance? No. Fraudster? Never!
Ladies and gentlemen Mac, of course pays for his lifestyle with his pride. What could be worst for Mac than selling his 26in butt for male or female pleasure…? (Who would pay for it?)
The only money making solution for the man who wont work is to of course, swap his skinny jeans and desert boots for a very scouse ‘trackie’ and ‘trainee’s’, turn in his sing-song accent for a more harsh and very frankly frightening one and head off down to the dole queue. I may have embellished here. However this is his ultimate dole fantasy.
Don’t forget to take your hat Mac and cover up your fabulous mane of indie locks!
Yes the eternal hypocrite who loathes and fears his benefit thriving band of brothers lowers his head and begins the long, shameful walk in their shadowy path to collect his giro. The art of seduction begins.
It must be quite confusing for the advisor behind the desk. Mac is an academic; plus he doesn’t smell of weed, all in all he is quite a polite guy. Instantly his masquerade has worked. Obviously he is another victim of the credit crunch? Meh! If only the career advisor knew, that in front of them sat, a real deal lazy bastard. However, a charming one! Week after week, Mac rolls in with his roll call of jobs he never has or never will apply for. After all, why should he? He’s a creative, an intellectual, a free spirit. He’s everything he needs to be as long as it prevents him from obtaining a job. What’s more is that they believe him. I mean who wouldn’t have pity for the intelligent youth who has fallen with the economy under Labour’s demise?
If anything Mac has developed into a rather resourceful guy. His £51 a week provides him with plenty. He fools not only ‘The Man’ into giving him ‘free’ money but he also fools the unknowing society into perceiving him as normal member of the working, nevertheless, contributing elite.
What is my personal message to Mac you say?........Enjoy my money you slug!
Now Mac is the type of guy who you would expect to need a job. He leads a sociable lifestyle within a group of employed friends who demand the finer and more fun things out of life such as alcohol fuelled nights out, weekend excursions as well as concert and cinema outings. And let me tell you Mac would be damned if he had to miss out on any of these things. Always a dapper gent, he cavorts around bars in the trendiest tresses and commandeers admiring glances from coquettish ladies (obviously before they have entered into a conversation). He’s a movie buff, an art enthusiast and a musical connoisseur. He’s also skint…so just how does Mac manage to live such an affluent lifestyle?
He certainly doesn’t receive generous handouts from mummy or daddy, apart from the collecting of early birthday and Christmas favours and the odd £20 here or there. It could be the ‘loans’ he obtains from friends which he then ‘forgets’ to reimburse! Surely though, the sporadic £10 borrows couldn’t fortify such an existence. A well guarded inheritance? No. Fraudster? Never!
Ladies and gentlemen Mac, of course pays for his lifestyle with his pride. What could be worst for Mac than selling his 26in butt for male or female pleasure…? (Who would pay for it?)
The only money making solution for the man who wont work is to of course, swap his skinny jeans and desert boots for a very scouse ‘trackie’ and ‘trainee’s’, turn in his sing-song accent for a more harsh and very frankly frightening one and head off down to the dole queue. I may have embellished here. However this is his ultimate dole fantasy.
Don’t forget to take your hat Mac and cover up your fabulous mane of indie locks!
Yes the eternal hypocrite who loathes and fears his benefit thriving band of brothers lowers his head and begins the long, shameful walk in their shadowy path to collect his giro. The art of seduction begins.
It must be quite confusing for the advisor behind the desk. Mac is an academic; plus he doesn’t smell of weed, all in all he is quite a polite guy. Instantly his masquerade has worked. Obviously he is another victim of the credit crunch? Meh! If only the career advisor knew, that in front of them sat, a real deal lazy bastard. However, a charming one! Week after week, Mac rolls in with his roll call of jobs he never has or never will apply for. After all, why should he? He’s a creative, an intellectual, a free spirit. He’s everything he needs to be as long as it prevents him from obtaining a job. What’s more is that they believe him. I mean who wouldn’t have pity for the intelligent youth who has fallen with the economy under Labour’s demise?
If anything Mac has developed into a rather resourceful guy. His £51 a week provides him with plenty. He fools not only ‘The Man’ into giving him ‘free’ money but he also fools the unknowing society into perceiving him as normal member of the working, nevertheless, contributing elite.
What is my personal message to Mac you say?........Enjoy my money you slug!
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